Arguments with your partner are just a part of sharing your life with another person and no two people can get along perfectly all the time. What happens after a fight and how you both deal with the aftermath, is probably more important than the argument itself. You can’t stay mad at each other forever, but when you are still seething with anger at some of the things that have been said, calming down can be hard to do, but that is exactly what you must do. The only way you will get things resolved and return the relationship to an even keel, is to get your anger back under control, so here are ten tips that will help you calm down again after an argument with your partner.
1. Go for a walk
Rather than sit giving each other the evil eye, the best way to diffuse the situation is to be apart for a short while. A walk in the fresh air will give you a chance to get your own thoughts together and let you both calm down a bit. Fresh air and a bit of exercise will soon clear your head and help you cool down.
2. Breathe deeply and count to ten
Taking deep breaths will get more oxygen flowing to your brain and that will help you to focus more clearly, and counting to ten slowly will slow down the rapid thoughts that are likely to be racing around your mind. This is a good way to give yourself a chance to let the anger subside enough to be able to think more clearly.
3. Listen to some gentle music
Put on some soothing music and you will soon begin to feel your heartbeat slowing and your pulse returning to normal. Music has amazing, mood changing effects, and you will find it hard to stay angry when you are listening to some lovely, gentle music. If it’s a piece of music that you know you like, you will also find that it takes your mind off whatever it was you were fighting about.
4. Give your shoulders a shake
When people get angry, their muscles tense up, especially around the neck and the shoulders. To relieve that tension, let your hands drop to your sides and shake your arms and your shoulders. It will help to loosen up the muscles, help you breathe better, and it will help to calm you down.
5. Cuddle your pet
Pets have long been known for their ability to calm people down and reduce stress, and it’s a fact that people who own pets do suffer less with stress related illnesses. If you are having trouble calming down after a fight with your partner, try giving your pet dog or cat a cuddle. The unconditional love that a pet gives you will soon take your mind off the argument and calm you down.
6. Try some aromatherapy
Right after an argument would be the perfect time to get your diffuser out. Essential oils like lavender and vanilla are ideal to calm you down and de-stress you after an argument. The benefits of aromatherapy are not just a myth; it has been scientifically proven that certain scents do have a calming effect on the mind.
7. Work out
If you are really angry at your partner, one way you can work out your aggression, without taking it out on your partner, is to hit the gym, and hit it hard! A good work out gives you the chance to take your anger out on some equipment and let off some steam. Once you have finished working out, you might even be ready to talk to your partner again!
8. Have a hot bath
A hot bath or shower is another great way to relax and calm down. It relaxes your muscles, eases the stress, and it also gives you a chance to be alone and gather your thoughts. Sometimes, all you need to do to calm down after a fight is to get away from your partner and relax on your own, and a bath is the perfect way to do both.
9. Talk to a friend
Talking to a friend can be a way to calm down, but you do have to be careful that you don’t take your anger out on your friend. You should also avoid giving too much away about your fight with your partner, especially if it has been a very personal one. Having said that, a chat with an understanding friend can be very useful and it’s a good way to get things back in perspective.
10. Relieve stress with acupressure
If the stress of an argument is getting to you, try pressing your forefinger against the point between your eyes, just above your nose. This acupressure technique will ease the feeling of stress, soothe a stress headache, if you have one, and it will help you relax and calm down.