How To Make Up After A Quarrel
The ability to make up after a quarrel is extremely important in sustaining a relationship. While some people find it easy to make up and move on, others might find it very difficult. No matter how bad the case may be, there are many different ways of making up after a fight and some of them are as follows: Learn to discuss the issue openly and freely, expressing your feelings and expectations calmly to the person involved, Also look underneath the argument, try to identify the root of the problem that might have caused this bitter reaction. For instance, issue like when someone feels that he/she is being taken for granted.
You feel unappreciated, taken advantage of, perhaps used as a tool, so avoid sweeping the issue under the carpet without talking about it. Not talking about the issue can prolong the argument and any negative feelings you may hold. Because we have different ways of dealing with hurt, if you feel that you are hurt badly and you need time to calm down and think. Do so but let it be for a short period of time. That we are angry does not mean that we should love the person less, but instead it will be nice to condemn the action carried out not the person.
Self-assessment is another aspect that we must tackle in dealing with making up. People are sometime quick to blame the other person, forgetting that it takes two hands to clap, for example. Accepting that you are partly responsible for the quarrel as well can be of great help to him down well with the other person.
Pride is another aspect that must be mentioned. You must not allow your pride to prevent you from telling yourself the honest truth about the part or role you played as well that led to the quarrel. Learn not to allow your despair to prevent you from mending the relationship at least for the sake of peace to reign. In most cases, things might not be the same again after a bitter quarrel. Time, they say, heals wound. Never mind it is natural but gradually your relationship will come out stronger for some reasons. Relationships come out smoother after argument sometimes because now the parties involved have a better understanding of their likes and dislikes, boundaries are set and respect becomes the watch- word. The step to make up after a bitter quarrel is to learn to overcome the common question of why do I have to make the first move ? Thoughts like this do not get you any way. Making up helps you as a person, likewise your offender. The person who understands the benefit of reconciliation takes the initiative without any expectation from the other person.
Further step is not to dwell on the bad. After a bitter quarrel with a friend, for example, it is easy to feel wrong and hurt, but the most important thing in the midst of all the happenings is to actually try to remember whatever good qualities your friend has. Even after the bitter quarrel, don’t forget the care and likeness you both shared. An argument or disagreement should not be allowed to change that.
Apology is very key in a situation like this. Some people find it very difficult to apologise when they are at fault. Learn not to allow your pride take the better part of you. After self-assessment and you know that you are in the wrong, whether by action or words, it is important that you apologise. Avoid trying to rationalize or justify your behaviour or making excuses for it.
At the same time, don’t apologise just to move past the argument. If you honestly don’t believe you have done anything wrong, you should calmly explain that to your friend. But take good care to make sure that is really the case. In addition, learn from the bitter argument. It is vital to take something from an argument.
May be you suddenly recognize in yourself some behaviour you want to change or you have noticed things that your friend is sensitive to. The fact that you have this issue with your friend or family member does not mean the end of the relationship. It is important to make amends after an argument in order to move on and get back to being good friends. In so doing, you strengthen your friendship. Making peace with friends after a fight is an important step to maintaining harmonious and happy relationship between the both of you. It is always good to resolve any lasting anger and address it rather than let it fester.
Listening attentively in the process of making up must not be left out. Make sure you listen carefully to what is being said by your friend. Read his or her body language and make sure your body language is not communicating something else. When sorting out issues, with your friend listens when he or she is giving his own explanation, don’t start thinking about what you are going to say next, but listen to your friend, so you can understand where he or she really stands.
Situation may not have been as they appeared and there’s always room to learn. Finally, bear in mind that there are always three sides to every story: yours, theirs and the truth, so don’t look at your side only. See the other side as well.