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11 Things Men Will Never Ever Understand About Women

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, or something like that. I don’t know if I believe we’re so different that half the population are Martians and the others are Venus-ans, but I do know there are some differences between men’s and women’s lifestyles that create a gulf in understanding.

Here are 11 things guys will never have the opportunity of understanding.

1. The need for a ponytail holder on your wrist

Guys will never understand the need to sometimes wear an elastic band on your wrist. They will also never understand how great it is to get one stretched out enough to not cut off your circulation when you’re wearing it. They’ll never get how real the struggle is when there’s just that extra bit left after you’ve wrapped it around your hair a few times with not enough of it to fit around another time. And they’ll never empathize with the pain you have when one day, the precious favorite band snaps and there is nothing to do but put it in the garbage can.

2. Social pressure to be thin

Your body is under scrutiny from people who have no right to care. Men have more wiggle room with what’s an acceptable weight, but society prescribes what’s ideal for women. Even if you are a woman confident enough to let these pressures slide off, these pressures have still attempted to attack you at some point in your life.

3. The feeling of shaved legs

Unless he’s a swimmer or something, he’s never going to know the feeling of sheer joy from having silky, hairless legs. He also won’t understand the debate between wearing leggings under your skirt or just biting the bullet and spending the 5 minutes shaving them.

4. Periods (period)

They’ll never get the game of spending the week wondering when the next time is that you can visit the lady’s room; the fact that no matter how old you are, you’re still at risk of leaking on your undies; and the sheer pain that is the shedding of your uterine lining. Also, tampons. They just don’t get them either.

5. The great bobby pin mystery

Actually this is something women will never understand either. I mean, where the heck do they all go? There was a whole new set a week ago.

6. Rejecting is the actual worst

Too often guys get the easy card. When they stop liking a girl they’ve been casually going on dates with, they can just not ask her out again. But girls can’t disappear so silently. When guys ask us out again, and we know we’re not interested, we have to say “No,” and that’s 0% fun. This isn’t to minimize the awfulness that is being rejected. It’s just to say that guys tend to not understand how it’s not easy for us either.

7. Hair in the drinking fountain

Long-haired ladies know what I’m talking about. There’s a constant concern with not allowing your hair to take a swim when you’re trying to get a quick drink.

8. Hair in the shower

You do your best to convince yourself you’re not experiencing woman pattern baldness when you wash your hair. What’s there to do but put it in a swirl on the shower wall for safe keeping so it doesn’t clog up the drain? Gross, but effective.

9. Hair everywhere

Such is life.

10. The power of makeup

Look, I’m no advocate for makeup (I like the idea of never wearing it), but you have to admit, makeup is pretty transforming. You can erase marks you’re self-conscious about. It’s almost not fair guys are socially banned from using that magical stuff.

11. Painting nails turns you into a damsel in distress

Even the most independent lady can’t do a single thing for about 1.5 hours after painting her nails. It’s actually the worst. But for some reason, it’s still worth it. We don’t expect you men to understand that.

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