Friendship is an interesting kind of love. There’s no contract legally binding you two together, there’s no unspoken rule about loving each other unconditionally, and there’s no real binding commitment to the opposite person other than what you are willing to put in to the relationship.
But maybe these are the reasons why our friendships are so valuable. The option is always there to back out at any time, and yet, with the really, really authentic ones, we never do.
Because at the end of the day — after the breakups and divorces and estrangements — we choose the companions we want in our lives, and they are the ones worth sticking around for.
And they should possess these qualities:
She’s present because she wants to be, not because you asked her. Whether this means stepping up as your plus-one to the lame office party or cheering you on during karaoke night, she’s got your back when you need her to, no questions asked.
Without the encouragement of our friends, we wouldn’t accomplish the borderline-dangerous, but provocatively fun things on our bucket lists, like cliff jumping, chatting up random strangers and getting lost on a road trips… er, what are friends for?!
Apologies in advance to all my friends who have to endure hearing me rant about Bravo television, but that’s what you guys are here for.
Best friends will, at the very least, pretend to be listening to your breakup for the fourty-thousandth time when no one else will.
She knows better than to share your secrets with her boyfriend or her mom. The cringe-worthy fact that you blackout-peed in that dude’s bed last Saturday will stay between you and her… and the waiter who overheard you two at brunch.
She’s a true-blue friend; the kind that won’t talk behind your back when there’s an issue between the two of you, but knows she can come to you about it, instead.
She’ll spend hours commiserating with you over the silliest of things that you both find hilarious, though, simply because the two of you love being in each other’s company. Like how Rihanna would definitely be in your group of friends or which “Hills” star totally has an STD by now.
It’s never a chore to have her over, you never feel like you have to entertain her and you always look forward to your plans together. That’s how you know she’s the real deal.
5. No judgment
…with what you put together when there’s nothing left in the fridge, with your outfit or your taste in guys. Whatever it is, your best friend knows who you are and won’t judge you based on your mistakes.
Above all else, she is the person you can call when you’ve awoken bleary-eyed in a drunk holding cell for public urination and you know she won’t think any less of you. You can turn to her with anything because she understands that at your core you are a good person.
We all need someone to send our Cher impersonation Snapchats to! You can be your completely weird, goofy self around her and she won’t run in the other direction.
She’s got her own bizarre set of hobbies, too, and that’s why you both work so well together.
She won’t always agree with you (Who does?), but she’ll always welcome your opinion. Your best friend won’t intentionally blow up your spot just to make herself look better.
She wants for you what you want for yourself and knows she doesn’t shine as bright without a sparkling counterpart. The two of you are partners-in-crime and the only way for that to work is if you both appreciate one another.
You can’t move forward in a relationship when one person is hung up on the past. But being a best friend is more than just forgiveness; it’s about compassion for the other person.
She forgives you because she believes you have the capacity to be better next time.
A best friend understands that you both have flaws and grows with you to embrace them.
No matter how far gone you’ve gotten, or how low you’re feeling, she’s the one who cares and will see to it that you get back up.
You can do or say anything and she won’t behave any differently towards you, like when she found out that one terrible thing you did in high school and responded with, “That’s kind of genius, though.”
10. Loves you for you
Even when you’re angry with the entire world, there’s always one person who gets spared and that’s your best friend. She loves you for all your moods, all your personality and even your questionable obsession with elephant figurines.
There’s pretty much nothing at this point you can do or say that will get rid of her (Remember when you guys like, weren’t friends though? WEIRD.), so you might as well appreciate the special gal you’re with for life.
Greeting you with Swedish Fish just because she knows they are your favorites or picking up an extra ticket for an upcoming concert because she knows you’d want to go. Your best friend has you in mind when it counts.
12. Shares your humor
You two go shopping at Urban Outfitters together, reach for the same “Everybody Poops” book and immediately start laughing. It’s just sooo us.