There are some facts about marriage that are not usually taught in churches, maybe because of the subject’s sensitivity or the shy nature of the teacher, but all the same some truths need to be told anyway and anyhow to help intending couples handle their marriage wisely.
Here are 5 truths about marriage that you probably didn’t learn at church but you should have.
1. Soulmates do not exist
Believe it or not, there is not just one person in this world that you could marry. Healthy relationships are made, not born. You can argue that there is one type of person that you should marry, but in all reality there is more than one person you could potentially choose to spend the rest of your life with.
If you are waiting for that perfect person to sweep you off of your feet, you will likely never find him, because no one is perfect. But imperfect people are great companions because they will strive to grow closer to God with you by their side.
2. The first year of marriage is really, really hard
It’s not like the first day of marriage will bring a wave of hardships that you didn’t expect, but the shock of marriage and changes that you must make may cause your marriage to be a lot harder than you expected it to be.
One of the best things to remember about year one of marriage is that you aren’t going through your trials alone. This is the first time you really had someone going through it with you, step by step. Be proud that you were able to make it through the unexpected trials that were thrown your way. Keep your positive attitude going throughout your marriage because there are better days ahead. Your marriage will get better.
3. Your spouse won’t fix you
The only person who can fix you is you. If you have married someone that pushes you to be a better person, than you definitely should see yourself grow and change throughout the years, but only if you put the effort into it. God is the only one who can complete you.
If you have gotten married to cover up your insecurities, they will come out faster than you think; marriage is not the answer to life’s most difficult questions. It will be almost impossible to enjoy your marriage when all you want is for your spouse to make you their project.
4. Marriage isn’t about you
Don’t forget the difference between a marriage and a wedding. The wedding is a glorious day filled with smiles and a spotlight just on you and your spouse. The day may be about you and the commitment you are making, but once the reception lights go out, your spouse comes first. Every decision you make from then on should be made with your spouse in mind. You will constantly be serving them and putting their needs before your own. Marriage is not about you, and that is a good thing.
5. Marry someone with similar aspirations
With similar goals, passions, and dreams, some of the power struggles that arise in marriages can be avoided. Being able to deeply understand someone and in a sense ‘get on their level’ is best achieved when you have experience with what they are going through or have full support in their choices.
Are there things you didn’t learn at church that you wish you did? Share them with us! You never know when your words can impact the lives of others.