66 Views

5 Warning Signs Your Relationship Is On The Wane

You made it through Valentine’s Day.

Maybe it was a tender, heartfelt celebration of your union with candy hearts, flowers and singing birds.

Or maybe the über-romantic holiday left you feeling unsettled, insincere, worried. Now that Cupid’s wings are out of your eyes, it could be time to reassess your relationship for any of these five warning signs that your love may be on the wane.

1. You’re always arguing.
This one seems self-evident, but so often, it’s not. I have a friend who frequently calls me to vent about her boyfriend’s latest infraction: He lied, he no-showed a date, he didn’t come check on her when she was sick. They fight — loud, screaming things that are alarming to hear — and then everything is aces. When she and I talk about their volatile dynamic in the lucid times, my friend agrees that his behavior makes her angry, that she doesn’t feel cherished and that she’s exhausted from fighting. Yet they stay together.

“Why?” I ask.

“I love him.”

The lowest lows often accompany the loftiest highs, and when things are good it may be hard to let go of someone with whom you share great passion and, yes, love. But despite what the Roman poet Virgil and Hallmark may want you to believe, love does not conquer all. You can love someone and still be better off without them — and when your relationship becomes filled with friction and dissatisfaction and resentment more often than the course of true love runs smooth, you’re sacrificing your peace of mind (and heart) to an unhealthy, destructive dynamic.

2. You never argue.
Conversely, too much accord might be a signal of trouble — namely that one partner (or both) is suppressing her real feelings, or subsuming himself in his partner, or has mentally “checked out” of the relationship. No two people with unique backgrounds, mind sets, ideology, etc., can live in perfect accord at all times — sometimes I can even have lively arguments with myself.

That doesn’t mean that screaming fights should be part of your couple repertoire. Everyone argues differently; the key is to respect your partner’s differing point of view, as well as their means of expressing it — but also to take into account how they are most comfortable handling disagreements. I have an atavistic, knee-jerk fear of shouting; raised voices utterly unnerve me, leaving me too freaked out to engage as a rational adult. My husband knows that about me, and is careful not to yell, even amid a heated discussion.

ALSO READ  Top 5 Nollywood Actresses Whose Marriages Unbelievably Crashed Within 12 Months!! (With Pictures)

In a healthy relationship, two people feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, concerns and emotions — even the difficult ones — but can still stay cognizant of each other’s feelings.

3. You’re always mad.
Remember when you first started dating your boyfriend, and his habit of taking his pants off as soon as he walked in his front door and lounging around in his boxer briefs seemed like a charming quirk? If those same foibles you once found endearing now make you want to scoop out his eyeballs with a grapefruit spoon, you might have one foot out the door.

Sometimes before we’re ready to admit that our feelings have changed or our relationship is no longer working, our raw nerves are trying to tell us the truth. Are you often irritated by your partner? Do you find you’re quick to take offense to things he says and does? Does your temper flare up faster and easier than usual? Pay attention to those signs. It might be your primal emotions reacting to the truth of your situation before your mind is ready to accept it.

5. You’re happy. Really. You are.
This is the most insidious and easy-to-miss indication that your relationship may be on shaky ground. Many relationships, especially long-term ones, can settle into a complacent comfort zone as two people grow ever more familiar.

But familiarity is not intimacy. In fact, sometimes it engenders the opposite — when we become convinced we know everything there is to know about our partner, we can go on autopilot and stop paying attention. Intimacy is being open — not just willing to show your own vulnerabilities, but open to the unique, separate, always changing individual your partner is. Once we think we know everything there is to know about someone, we keep them slotted into that safe, comfortable category — and we stop growing as a couple.

If things are perfectly fine between you — pleasant, polite, comfortable — but something is missing, take stock. This doesn’t have to be a signal that things are over — sometimes it’s a much-needed wake-up call for a couple to remember to see the other person as another person- – not just a familiar appendage taken for granted.

But whether you decide to work on things or end them, don’t put it off. There are only 361 days left till next Valentine’s Day.

Get the best viral stories straight into your inbox!

Don't worry, we don't spam

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Latest Posts

REVEALED: How EFCC Boss Ibrahim Magu Escaped Assassination
Politics
6 views
Politics
6 views

REVEALED: How EFCC Boss Ibrahim Magu Escaped Assassination

PH - December 14, 2017

The Acting Chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) Mr. Ibrahim Magu on Tuesday night escaped death by the whiskers as some gunmen stormed his…

Channels Television Emerges TV Station Of The Year For 12th Time
Best of Nigeria
9 views
Best of Nigeria
9 views

Channels Television Emerges TV Station Of The Year For 12th Time

PH - December 14, 2017

Channels Television has won the Nigerian Media Merit Award for Best Television Station Of The Year for a record 12th time. The award-winning station was presented with the coveted…

Davido In A Relationship With A New “Girlfriend”? (See Photos)
Entertainment
60 views
Entertainment
60 views

Davido In A Relationship With A New “Girlfriend”? (See Photos)

MT - December 13, 2017

Since the news of the birth of her 2nd child, whose mother is an American, the music star, Davido, has been reassured to keep his relationships hidden. Earlier…

5 Nigerian Politicians PDP Should Consider As ‘Presidential Candidate’ To Defeat Buhari In 2019
Politics
71 views
Politics
71 views

5 Nigerian Politicians PDP Should Consider As ‘Presidential Candidate’ To Defeat Buhari In 2019

MT - December 13, 2017

Nigeria’s major opposition party, Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), has hinted that it has begun the search for a ‘sellable candidate’ who can match President Muhammadu Buhari in…

Why I Did Not Choose Jos As Nigeria’s Capital – Yakubu Gowon
Politics
51 views
Politics
51 views

Why I Did Not Choose Jos As Nigeria’s Capital – Yakubu Gowon

PH - December 13, 2017

Yakubu Gowon, former head of state, says he would have made Jos Nigeria’s capital, but for the fear of being accused of “parochialism and favouritism”. He said…

New Study: Women More Attracted To Strong Men With Broad Shoulders
Romance and Love
55 views
Romance and Love
55 views

New Study: Women More Attracted To Strong Men With Broad Shoulders

PH - December 13, 2017

Women are more attracted to strong looking men with broad shoulders and big muscles, researchers have said. According to the study, men’s upper body strength accounts for…

Young Female Barber Who Works At A Saloon In Lagos Trends Online. Here Is Why…..
Inspiring
58 views
Inspiring
58 views

Young Female Barber Who Works At A Saloon In Lagos Trends Online. Here Is Why…..

MT - December 13, 2017

A young lady has decided to fend for herself in a very uncommon way. According to reports, the lady identified as Adeola, a female barber and hair…

Meet The First Set Of Army Pilots Who Are Set To Fly War Planes. [Photos]
Best of Nigeria
80 views
Best of Nigeria
80 views

Meet The First Set Of Army Pilots Who Are Set To Fly War Planes. [Photos]

MT - December 13, 2017

The Chief of Army Staff, Lieutenant General TY commissioned the first set of Nigerian Army Pilots trained by the Nigerian Army Aviation School to fly war planes.…

Bobrisky, MMM, Nnamdi Kanu…Top Google Searches in Nigeria in 2017
Technology
46 views
Technology
46 views

Bobrisky, MMM, Nnamdi Kanu…Top Google Searches in Nigeria in 2017

PH - December 13, 2017

So much has happened in 2017 that it’s almost impossible to believe they all happened in one year. Today, Google announced the results of its 2017 Year…

How Obiano Humiliated Us – Edochie on Anambra Poll
Politics
66 views
Politics
66 views

How Obiano Humiliated Us – Edochie on Anambra Poll

PH - December 13, 2017

Yul Edochie has said Willie Obiano “really humiliated” other candidates in the recently held Anambra governorship poll. Edochie was the Democratic Peoples Congress (DPC) candidate in the election.…

Four Brilliant And Cute Nigerian Ladies Celebrate After Bagging First Class Degrees. Photos
Inspiring
54 views
Inspiring
54 views

Four Brilliant And Cute Nigerian Ladies Celebrate After Bagging First Class Degrees. Photos

MT - December 13, 2017

Congratulations are in order for these Nigerian ladies and good friends; Kristine Ekanem, Mobolaji Olorisade, Louisa Michael and one other who bagged First Class degrees from a…

2018 World Cup; What Super Eagles Coach Is Set To Do About Nigerian Players With Lack Of Playing Time
Sports
89 views
Sports
89 views

2018 World Cup; What Super Eagles Coach Is Set To Do About Nigerian Players With Lack Of Playing Time

MT - December 13, 2017

Ahead of the 2018 World Cup in Russia, the Super Eagles coach Gernot Rohr is st to meet with managers of club sides of Nigerian players. According…

Anambra Governor, Obiano Rocks Police Bullet Proof Vest Ahead Of Xmas Celebration
Politics
54 views
Politics
54 views

Anambra Governor, Obiano Rocks Police Bullet Proof Vest Ahead Of Xmas Celebration

MT - December 13, 2017

Governor Willie Obiano of Anambra – rocked a police bullet-proof vest, an helmet and a service boot as he posed at the State House in Awka, the…

Health Official Advises Farmers Not To Suck Snakebite Spots
Food and Health
54 views
Food and Health
54 views

Health Official Advises Farmers Not To Suck Snakebite Spots

MT - December 13, 2017

A U.S-based Nurse, Alloysius Nlekwa, has advised farmers not to suck the spots where they were bitten by snakes while on their farms. Nlekwa gave the advice…

2019 Elections: Buhari May Pick Tinubu As His VP, As Osinbajo Is Likely To Retire To Full Ministry At RCCG
Politics
87 views
Politics
87 views

2019 Elections: Buhari May Pick Tinubu As His VP, As Osinbajo Is Likely To Retire To Full Ministry At RCCG

MT - December 13, 2017

14 months to the next presidential election, there are indications that the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) may have President Muhammadu Buhari-Asiwaju Bola Tinubu ticket, as one…

2 Nigerians Shortlisted for $1m Global Teacher Prize
Best of Nigeria
53 views
Best of Nigeria
53 views

2 Nigerians Shortlisted for $1m Global Teacher Prize

PH - December 13, 2017

Two Nigerian teachers have been nominated for the 2018 global teacher prize. The prize, put together by Varkey Foundation, comes with a monetary award of $1 million. Ayodele Odeogbola…

Video: EmmaOhMaGod Drops Street Version of The Gratitude’s “Raba Baba Eh”
Entertainment
49 views
Entertainment
49 views

Video: EmmaOhMaGod Drops Street Version of The Gratitude’s “Raba Baba Eh”

PH - December 13, 2017

COZA choir The Gratitude recently dropped their first music video “Raba Baba Eh“, also the lead song off their new album. Singer and comedian EmmaOhMaGod has now dropped a street version for…

How Kiss Daniel Earned Monthly Salary Of 30k, Missed Father’s Burial & Got Blocked By Basketmouth On Instagram
Entertainment
79 views
Entertainment
79 views

How Kiss Daniel Earned Monthly Salary Of 30k, Missed Father’s Burial & Got Blocked By Basketmouth On Instagram

MT - December 13, 2017

It is no longer news that Kiss Daniel, one of Nigeria’s most popular singers, is currently embroiled in a legal battle with his former record label, G-Worldwide.…

Loading...