More than anything, your husband needs to know that you are on his side and not against him. You need to communicate, more than you probably think is necessary, that you accept him and love him, even though you may not be satisfied with some of his behaviours or responses.
His search for peace may begin sooner if he knows that you are satisfied with him and willing to walk through the steps of healing.
1. Be His Friend, Not His Mother
He doesn’t need a mother who would dote on him, he needs a friend who would insist on being treated as an equal. He needs a friend who would gladly share life’s responsibilities with him but not live his life for him, someone who will encourage him in his problem solving but not solve all his problems for him.
If you find yourself playing the mothering role to a man, he would never deal with the causes and crisis of his anger. The scared little boy would whine and fuss until you make it all better.
2. Don’t Nag Him
Instead of nagging him, become a wellspring of appreciation for the work he does and the living he provides.
3. Affirm him, Don’t criticize
Some men are upset because of the kind of work they have to put up with to make a living. Compliment him for the character qualities he exercises in his job. Appreciate the effort.
4. Give Him Space, Don’t Crowd Him
Most of us don’t like to be pushed, especially men. It’s an affront to their masculinity and only serves to exacerbate the anger.
They feel intimidated because their wives can’t accept them as they are. They feel inferior in comparison to the ideal man their wives badger them to become. Give your husband plenty of room. Show him that you are concerned about him and that you love him.
5. Don’t Rush Him
We live in an age of instant gratification. We hate to wait because of this. This subconscious
urgency we all share for results may get in the way, however, when it comes to the matter of helping a man defuse his anger. Change doesn’t take place overnight.
6. Don’t Withhold S3x from Him
I hear some women talk about how they withheld s3x or affection and this tactic is very counterproductive. Love, forgiveness, acceptance are qualities to be given freely and not held hostage for ransom.
I hope you found this useful.