80 Views

3 Stages Relationships Must Go Through To Be Successful

blackcouplehugging

Is your relationship really failing … or is it just evolving? (As it’s meant to!)

Are you married, engaged or in a committed relationship right now? What brought you two together? What is keeping you together?

Most of us base our attraction to others on their looks, s*x appeal or personality, but we are unaware of how our life force energy also contributes to lasting success in love.

Do you know any long-term couples who still radiate love and appreciation for each other? If so, how do they do it?

Energy Psychologist, Dr. David Feinstein, and his wife, Energy Specialist Donna Eden—a couple who practice what they preach—say that EVERY successful love relationship goes through 3 phases:

Wild Passion

Disappointment and Reckoning

Deepening and Flowing

Feinstein and Eden explain what attracts us to each other and how to brave the ups and downs of love relationships in their book, The Energies of Love.

1. Wild Passion

This part is easy. Usually good looks attract us initially. Stage 1 is a time of excitement and romance. However, many people seek my professional help when, after the first glow of passion starts to fade, they find themselves in the midst of Stage 2, feeling challenged and disappointed when they realize their happily-ever-after fantasies are an illusion.

My job is to coach couples in using Energy Psychology methods (especially EFT acupressure tapping) to heal their wounds, communicate better with each other, and appreciate what brought them together in the first place, so they can enter the third phase of deepening and commitment.

2. Disappointment and Reckoning

When the magic fades, disappointments may appear and resentments grow. The partner you once found exciting now may seem boring. Habits that you thought were sweet now drive you up the wall. Maybe your partner has gained weight and doesn’t look sexy anymore. Or, he never got that promotion at work and is not making enough money to support the family in the style you expected. Have parenting obligations begun to push you apart?

The way to get through the disappointment stage is by learning how to recognize and honor your differences and incompatibilities in a supportive, caring constructive manner. The first step is to look for the echoes of what you once had.

For example, Linda and Kevin created a wonderful ritual that not only got them through Stage 2, but also continued to help them deepen their love as they entered Stage 3. Every year on their anniversary they went away to a beautiful getaway in order to take stock of their marriage. In this neutral setting, they honored what was strong and loving in their relationship and also identified the stresses they were encountering.

First, Linda and Kevin reminisced about how they met, shared what qualities were special in their spouse, and talked about what they still appreciated and loved. Next, they paid attention to any stresses that were eroding their good feelings. Sometimes what seemed an insignificant negative trait in the early days of passion, can grow into a painful wound if not addressed. Linda and Kevin used EFT acupressure tapping to change the future of their relationship by refusing to stay stuck in negative emotions toward each other.

ALSO READ  Ladies! Here Are 5 Signs He Wants A Breakup

3. Deepening and Flowing

You might want to try what worked for them in order to deal with your doldrums. You can perform your relationship check-up anywhere, at any time; however, it works best if you find a place and time where you won’t be interrupted.

Begin by reminiscing about how you met. What attracted you to each other? Share what good qualities you still cherish. In my article, Driving Each Other Crazy? It’s In Your DNA, I point out the ways we are different from our spouses or lovers that are part of our temperament and will never change. Share one of the things you dislike about your lover. Rate how upset you feel from 0-10 as you bring it to mind.

Instead of fighting over this ongoing stress, use EFT Tapping. Tap the outside edge of your hand saying, “Even though I hate it when you ____ (fill in your complaint), I still love the way you ____ (state something you love and admire in him or her).” Do this 3 times and then tap each of these other points on your head and torso for 3 seconds while you picture your partner acting the way that drives you nuts:

Crown of the head
Eyebrow: the beginning of the eyebrow nearest the nose
Side of eye on the bone outside the outer corner of the eye socket
Under the eye above the cheekbone
Under the nose
Under the lower lip
Under the collarbone
4 inches under the armpit on the side of the body
Tap around these points 3 times. When you finish take a deep breath and notice what happened. Did you observe any changes in your thoughts, emotions or sensations? If you started at an upset rated 9, is it still a 9 or less?

Complete a few more rounds of gentle tapping focused on the same topic. The goal is to reach zero, which means that you are able to acknowledge that your lover is doing the best he or she can, and you are no longer angry or resentful. You can accept him or her as they are today, that they are doing the best they can.

When you tap these acupressure points, it helps you relax and release tension, anger or fear. When that happens you may find that your thoughts become clearer. For example, as you tap you may realize that you, too, have behaviors or beliefs that make your significant other feel upset with you.

In addition to taking stock of your relationship, you might decide to make plans to share activities that you enjoy together and that enrich your life together. Don’t wait to perform a relationship tune-up once a year—you may want to clear the air once every 3 or 6 months if needed. It’s an easy way to reinforce your loving energy and keep your love alive and thriving.

Get the best viral stories straight into your inbox!

Don't worry, we don't spam

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Latest Posts

These 5 Female Nigerian Celebrities Will Make You Embrace Low Cut
Entertainment
Entertainment

These 5 Female Nigerian Celebrities Will Make You Embrace Low Cut

MT - January 23, 2018

Deciding to wear a low cut takes a lot of bravery and commitment and many Nigerian celebrities have taken up this style. Many international celebrities like Teyanna…

A Background Into The Fabulous Life Of Petite Singer, Di’Ja
Entertainment
6 views
Entertainment
6 views

A Background Into The Fabulous Life Of Petite Singer, Di’Ja

MT - January 23, 2018

Hadiza Blell, better known by her stage name Di’Ja, is a Nigerian singer, visual artist and songwriter. She is currently signed to Mavin Records. Early Life &…

President Buhari Reveals How He Will End Herdsmen Killings
Politics
22 views
Politics
22 views

President Buhari Reveals How He Will End Herdsmen Killings

MT - January 23, 2018

President Muhammadu Buhari yesterday assured Nigerians that the rising attacks on communities by herdsmen will soon be brought under control by security forces deployed to the vulnerable…

List Of 16 States Ready To Establish Cattle Colonies For Herdsmen
Politics
29 views
Politics
29 views

List Of 16 States Ready To Establish Cattle Colonies For Herdsmen

MT - January 23, 2018

Sixteen states in the nation have agreed to establish cattle colonies for herdsmen. The establishment of cattle colonies was an idea proposed by the federal government to…

BBOG Convener, Aisha Yesufu, Lists “Why President Buhari Is Corrupt”
Politics
37 views
Politics
37 views

BBOG Convener, Aisha Yesufu, Lists “Why President Buhari Is Corrupt”

MT - January 23, 2018

Convener of the Bring Back Our girls group, BBOG, Aisha Yesufu has listed various ways she believes President Muhammadu Buhari's administration encourages corruption. On Tuesday, Aisha attacked…

Daughter Of The “Dancing Senator”, Adeleke And Davido’s Cousin Wows In New Pics
Politics
37 views
Politics
37 views

Daughter Of The “Dancing Senator”, Adeleke And Davido’s Cousin Wows In New Pics

MT - January 23, 2018

Nike is the beautiful daughter of Senator Ademola Adeleke ''the dancing senator'' who is Davido's uncle. She shared the new photos on the gram. See another below

This Year, I Will Invest In More Valuable Properties Rather Than In Expensive Bags – Danielle Okeke
Entertainment
33 views
Entertainment
33 views

This Year, I Will Invest In More Valuable Properties Rather Than In Expensive Bags – Danielle Okeke

MT - January 23, 2018

Nollywood actress Danielle Okeke says her new dawn in 2018, is to invest in more valuable properties rather than in expensive bags..... Hmmm Hope this aint no shade?…

PHOTOS: Couple Rock In Their Secondary School Uniform For Their Pre Wedding Photo Shot
Inspiring
36 views
Inspiring
36 views

PHOTOS: Couple Rock In Their Secondary School Uniform For Their Pre Wedding Photo Shot

MT - January 23, 2018

Below are beautiful photos of a couple who rocked their secondary school uniform for their photo-shoot, and it’s simply amazing!

Lovely Photos From Peter Okoye’s Daughter, Aliona 5th Birthday Party As Friends Join To Celebrate
Entertainment
41 views
Entertainment
41 views

Lovely Photos From Peter Okoye’s Daughter, Aliona 5th Birthday Party As Friends Join To Celebrate

MT - January 23, 2018

Peter Okoye's daughter, Aliona turned 5 on Monday, January 22, 2018, and she sure did have fun with her friends. The beautiful daughter and second child of…

How Pregnant Young Girls Between Ages Of 8 – 13 Years Are Causing A Scene In Calabar
Shocking
51 views
Shocking
51 views

How Pregnant Young Girls Between Ages Of 8 – 13 Years Are Causing A Scene In Calabar

MT - January 23, 2018

Images of girls between the ages of eight and 13 years with protruding stomachs, noticeably pregnant, are familiar sights in Calabar and other parts of Cross River…

That Mesmerizing Moment Davido Allows Female Fans Touch Him While On Stage (Video)
Entertainment
49 views
Entertainment
49 views

That Mesmerizing Moment Davido Allows Female Fans Touch Him While On Stage (Video)

MT - January 23, 2018

Fans and the way they adore and show love to celebrities when they meet each other… Davido is no stranger to such love and he took it…

Nigerian Women
38 views

OAP Toolz Visits Bakassi IDP Camp In Maiduguri (Video)

PH - January 23, 2018

The boiling Borno State capital, Maiduguri is one of the places in the north east that many dread to visit, especially if they do not have to…

L’Oreal Hijab Model Pulls Out Of Campaign After Backlash
Fashion
34 views
Fashion
34 views

L’Oreal Hijab Model Pulls Out Of Campaign After Backlash

PH - January 23, 2018

The model who was supposed to be the first woman in a hijab to be part of a mainstream advert for hair care has said she's pulling…

Cattle Colonies; Meet The Igbo Man Who Breeds Cows And See How He Does It. Photos
Business
55 views
Business
55 views

Cattle Colonies; Meet The Igbo Man Who Breeds Cows And See How He Does It. Photos

MT - January 23, 2018

Following the trending Fulani herdsmen issue which has been rocking the country for some time now, sixteen Nigerian states have agreed to establish cattle colonies proposed by…

4 Ways To Turn Down A Guy Without Sounding Offensive
Romance and Love
39 views
Romance and Love
39 views

4 Ways To Turn Down A Guy Without Sounding Offensive

PH - January 23, 2018

1. MY PAST STILL KEEPS ON HAUNTING ME  I am already committed. One of the most common ways to reject a guy’s proposal is this. This line…

Super Eagles Eye Quarterfinal Spot
Sports
38 views
Sports
38 views

Super Eagles Eye Quarterfinal Spot

PH - January 23, 2018

All is set for the home-based Super Eagles to progress to the quarterfinal of the African Nations Championship (CHAN) if they avoid defeat in their final group game against Equatorial Guinea.…

Another Boyfriend Rejects Marriage Proposal From Girlfriend (Photos, Video)
Romance and Love
64 views
Romance and Love
64 views

Another Boyfriend Rejects Marriage Proposal From Girlfriend (Photos, Video)

PH - January 23, 2018

Another girlfriend's has proposed to her boyfriend in Lagos, and the boyfriend said no. Dramatic proposal In a fresh clip that has just surfaced online on Monday,…

This Is Why It’s Important To Always Obey Traffic Light. See Photos
Shocking
54 views
Shocking
54 views

This Is Why It’s Important To Always Obey Traffic Light. See Photos

MT - January 23, 2018

The Rapid Response Squad has urged Nigerians especially Lagosians to obey traffic lights and stop endangering their lives because the consequences might be costly to bear. According…

Loading...