Being the perfect husband may be tricky, but it’s certainly not impossible. Yes, we all have our share of flaws, but there’s no harm in trying to be near perfect. All you need is a clear conscience, and of course, love for your wife.
If you are sincere in your intention to be an ideal husband and make the relationship stronger, it is not difficult to be so. Here are some guidelines and a checklist on how to be a good husband. Read on.
What does your wife want to see in you? Why should your wife be proud of you even though you haven’t done something sensational? Here are a few things that you should remember:
1. Best Friend:
After your marriage, you’re the best friend that your wife has. So, make sure you become one in reality. Whenever she faces a problem, you need to make your best efforts to solve it along with her. If you’re facing one, you should always consult her first. It will only make the bond stronger.
2. A Good Listener:
Your wife spends the entire day away from you, may be at her workplace or house. The moment she meets you, she tries to bare her heart open to you. That’s the way to connect with you after a day of work. You should listen carefully and eagerly to whatever she has to say. But, make it a conversation and not just a monologue. You need to make her feel that you’re enjoying it, or you’re neglecting what she says.
You should show your love for her. Your wife knows that you love her. But, the moment you make your affection for her visible, her joy has no bounds. You should always remember that it’s not just about the sex, as loving her means genuinely caring for her.
4. Sharing The Religious Faith:
You may be sharing the same faith with your wife, or you two may come from two different religious backgrounds. You need to respect her religious outlook and should try to make her days more memorable by new ways of spirituality, wisdom, and prayers.
Giving birth to your kid and starting your family is not an easy task. Besides the physical and monetary strains, there’s an emotional aspect also. You should always support your spouse’s decision and not force her to accept your decision and the baby. She may have plans for her career or may not be ready for some other reasons. In case, you have a different opinion, you can discuss with her and then change her attitude, but don’t force her.
One of the vows that you took goes in the line that your wife’s responsibility is yours, and you should always keep those words to the fullest. You should always show proper care for her, and when she is sick or ill, she should be the most important person for you. She will never forget the things you’ll do for her when she gets ill and the vice versa also hold true. The hatred that will grow out of negligence will be hard to overlook.
7. Helping Your Wife Evolve:
A relationship is a give and take process. You should help her change as a person and make her better than before. It does not require changing her altogether; just help her mend the flaws she believes she has. She will also hold you in high regards for the same.
8. Loving Her Faults:
No single person in the world is perfect or has no flaws. It’s not the factor of beauty or nature; there can be issues with habits, behavior, etc. Every person is unique with her flaws, and you should embrace your wife with her flaws, and she should embrace you with yours. If she thinks that her weakness is not helping her, you can become her counsel and help her evolve, but don’t complain about her (1).
One thing common to most girls irrespective of their nature. They always love to be loved, to be made feel special, to get the proper care from her partner. Yes, they do wait for their Prince Charming but girls these days are sensible enough to know that all men have their faults and drawbacks. And satisfying girls is not difficult as it seems or gets portrayed. The following qualities, if you’ve in you or you can grow them, your girl will be the happiest in the world.
The basis of any relationship is trust and without this, no relationship can complete even a day.
The most important quality that you should possess to become the perfect husband is trustworthiness. With growing trust, the relation becomes stronger.
If you support your wife’s passion and give time to fulfill her hobbies, she just can’t ask for anything more.
It does not mean that you’ve been part of her hobbies, going out for a walk or a jog or doing the groceries together.
Girls value these small things a lot, and it shows on her face and body. If you readily volunteer, she will be the happiest girl in the world.
3. Love For Kids:
All girls love kids, whether it is theirs or not. The same can’t be said about men, though.
If you share the same love that she has for kids, then you have struck the right chord in maintaining a healthy relationship and being a hero in her eyes.
It will also mean to her that you’ll become a great father, but this doesn’t mean that men who do not do so don’t become great fathers.
If you feel irritated having kids near you, your wife will not like that at all. But if you’re OK with making faces, pulling cheeks or bearing the caprices of the kids, you can keep her happy.
4. Good Communication Skills:
It is another important aspect of having a stable and fruitful relationship. If you’re able to connect with your wife without any ifs or buts, then you two have a strong bond.
All your confusions can get solved easily. She should be able to express her thoughts easily to you and the vice versa.
There should never be any communication barriers between the two. It will also keep your egos at bay.
As you’re her pillar of strength and support, she should be able to cling on to you. It will only be possible if you support her.
You should listen to her problems, private or professional, and try to offer possible solutions.
Even if you’re unable to help, the eagerness and warmth are enough to melt her heart.
It is another key factor in a steady relationship. Both the parties in a marriage need to compromise to make it work.
Compromising doesn’t mean sacrificing a lot. Let’s say you chose to stay away from your night out when your wife is ill or facing some problems. It will make her sure that she’s your highest priority.
Being truthful in any relationship is highly significant. The more you remain faithful to her, the longer the relationship stands.
If you ever cheat on her, no matter you do to win her lost faith for you, that one blemish will never let her believe you wholly.
It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t talk with other women, but your wife should always be the top priority.
As a husband, you should be dependable, and this is something that all wives try to find in their spouses.
She should be able to depend on you, and you should be earnest enough not to let her down. The thing can as trivial as buying the grocery or making her decide or give her plans about how to plan her next girl’s party.
Your relationship will never face any hindrance if she can rely on you.
9. Strong Sense Of Humor:
Most girls out there are fun loving. They always look for a man who has a great sense of humor.
A boring or authoritarian partner is a strict no for her, but one who makes her laugh and giggle will easily win over her heart.
It’s difficult to find a guy who has a good sense of humor, and if you can be one for your wife, you’ve just hit the jackpot.
After a hard day at house or office, if you’re able to make her laugh or plan something crazy with her, she will be so happy to be with you.
There’s one similarity between girls and kids, and that is they both love getting pampered. If you indulge your girl for no reason at all, your relationship will always go strong.
When you pamper your partner, it means a lot to her. It means you care for her, love her and want to see her happy.
When it comes to pampering, it’s not that your partner expects a lavish treat or an expensive gift. It can be as simple as giving a hug in the morning, sending a sudden love-filed letter or mail, making her bed tea in the morning. These small gesticulations of yours will make her blindly love you.
Now that you have an idea about the checklist, and the qualities you should possess to be the perfect husband, let’s look at some of the characteristics of an ideal husband.
1. Be A Gentleman:
It is one of the prime characteristics that you should possess to be a good husband.
No matter what your wife tells, she will always love to be in a relationship with a gentleman.
There’s nothing huge or extravagant that you need to; you can kiss her before leaving the house or after coming back home, when she is busy with the shopping, you need to be patient enough and then carry her bags for her, when you go out on dates, make sure that you pay for them.
These simple things will make her deeply fall in love with you.
2. Be Courteous:
Respecting you wife is critical, as it will make her feel that you value her a lot. That your wife is a different person that you with her ideas and thoughts, you just need to acknowledge them.
You should never force her to follow your dreams or visions.
You need to keep your promises that you made to her and be punctual about your meetings or pick-ups.
3. Avoid Cheating Or Lying:
You should never lie to your wife about anything other than the secret date party or birthday trip you have planned for her to surprise her.
One small lie in enough to destroy the relationship. You should also never cheat on your wife.
That will just devastate her and would mean the end of the relationship. If you feel that your love for your wife has diminished, give your marriage a second chance.
4. Be Active:
Most wives hate lazy husbands and by lazy it does not mean that you won’t watch the football match on Sunday evening.
Be active about daily activities. So, the next time you get the chance, clean the house or put away the garbage in the trash can and then notice the glimmer in her eyes.
5. Don’t Be Selfish:
Selfish men are a big no for women, and thus, you should never be one.
You should never prevent your wife from doing something if that brings fame or glory to her.
You need to learn the art of compromise which is not rocket science at all. There’s no shame in losing to your wife.
6. No Abuses:
You’re the person who is there to protect your wife and give her comfort.
Thus, if you abuse her, no matter physically or verbally, it’ll give a huge blow to your relationship.
While in an argument, you should never raise your voice or scream at her.
Sarcasm about something that you two are unable to come to a decision should always be prohibited.
Lastly, you should never be violent against her.
7. Make Her Feel Special:
You need to make her feel special. There’s nothing more pleasant for a wife when her husband pampers her.
Pampering doesn’t mean that you have but her prolific gifts. It’s just the small things she likes.
One of the best ways to pamper your wife is to forge a great and caring relationship with your in-laws, she will simply love this.
You can take her out on a sudden trip or surprise her with a small gift.
If your wife is into charity, you can simply write a cheque for the charity she supports.
8. Be Open:
There should never be any ifs or buts in your relationship. You should be open and easily approachable for your wife.
She should be able to share her darkest and dirtiest secrets without any fear of negligence or abuse. That you love to be intimate with her makes her feel like a princess.
9. Show Your Affection:
The sole reason you married her is that you love her. So you should always show her how much you love her.
If you’re still thinking how to do so, give her a hug or a little peck on her cheeks in the middle of a busy street and see how her cheeks turn red.
You come back from office, and you see her busy in daily chores or professional activities, wrap your arms from behind her and see how her eyes dazzle.
You can also surprise her by decorating your bedroom romantically before she comes to bed at night.
10. Keep The Romance Intact:
Don’t assume that there’s no need to keep the flames of romance burning.
One of the prime ingredients to make a marriage work is a healthy romantic life. You can plan trips or at least dinner outings or a movie date once a month or so.
If she is an adrenaline junkie, how about skydiving or whale watching trips? If you’ve been in a relationship before your marriage, there’ll be so many memorable dates like the date you first met, the date you proposed, the date you first hugged or kissed and likewise.
If you remember these dates and celebrate them, your wife will be so happy. And last but not the least, the activities in the bed should be easy and enjoyable for both the parties and not just a regular activity.
You should try to ease your wife in as many different ways you can.
11. Be Supportive:
Your wife is a different entity with her career plans and way of living. You should be supportive towards her ideas and plans and lend a helping hand to complete them.
If you see your wife is awake at nights to finish her workplace assignments, you can sit beside her and give her company or make her a hot mug of coffee, and she will remember this gesture for a lifetime.
She is part of some cultural activity, and you visit the auditorium to cheer her, it’s a guarantee that she will treat you well for this.
12. Trust Her:
You need to trust your wife to the core, and this will make the relationship firm. You need to become trustworthy yourself too.
If the trust factor is missing from the relationship, that the end of it. There’re so many examples that marriages have turned sour due to trust issues.
13. Be Yourself:
Your wife falls in love with you and not somebody else. So you should never change yourself and become someone else she likes, like the celebrity she is crazy about.
The other thing which is a strict no is hiding any aspect of your personality from her. You should not say that there’s nothing called a perfect human being, and thus, you should not hide your dark sides.
Introduce her to all your relatives and make her a part of your extended family at the earliest.
You should always share your doubts and fears with her and never hide to become manlier.
If you have plans for your future, you should make her a big part of them.
14. The Golden Rule:
If all married couples could have successfully done this, there would never have been a case of divorce.
Before you say anything to her or doing anything to her or judging about why she did something which you did not like, you should put yourself in her shoes. You should always try to see from her perspective.
It may happen that you find your wife’s perspective is wrong but then you can always discuss it without getting into an argument.
She is also a person with her ideas and visions; you should always respect this fact.
15. Make Yourself Beautiful:
If you’re laughing about this or are thinking how weird this is, you just need to think again.
If you look good, maintain a proper hygiene, this will not affect the marriage at all, rather your wife will love the fact that you’re devoting time to making yourself more beautiful in her eyes.
If she has a thing for clean shaved men, how much time or effort does it take to get shaved? If she hates foul breath, which for a fact is unhealthy also, how long does it take to brush before going to bed at night? These are the small things which will make her love you even more than before
Source: Mom Conjuction