No one said it was going to be all rosy in marriage. How you handle yours determines how long it’s going to last. While you are giving your best to have your marriage work, here are five things you may be doing wrong.
Concentrating on his flaws
Unlike your ex, your husband might just be comparatively quiet or lack a sense of humour but that is the last thing you need to concentrate on. Negatively comparing your husband to other men is another subtle way to bring your marriage to an end. Try to concentrate only on the good things that he has done and all your happy moments together. Remember that not everyone will have everything on their wish list. And if there is something you would like to change, talk to him about it.
Speaking ill of your husband
Speaking in a mean-spirited or ill way about your husband when he’s not around is something you should totally avoid. If you find yourself developing this habit, the first thing to do is cut the source. It is believed that one’s friends could have a lot to do with developing the habit. Based on research, women may fall into this habit if they’re surrounded by people doing the same. If you have a close group of girlfriends who are constantly talking poorly about their own husbands, it may feel more normal for you to do so. But in reality, it only shows a lack of respect for him. And it can start a pattern of negative comparisons that can lead to even more criticism and contempt. Before you know it, your marriage will be on its way to crash-land.
Getting Physical during a fight
Arguments are healthy, but when you start raising your fist during an argument, that becomes abuse. You may think ladies don’t raise their fist but I know a few who do and doing so will only drive your husband away. It immediately shuts down the possibility of having a productive conversation which is very unhealthy for any marriage. If you find yourself constantly yelling every time your husband gets on your nerves, try to pull back. Otherwise, you could find yourself unintentionally raising your fist and that will automatically stop his willingness to talk openly and honestly with you.
Always pretending to be okay
When something you don’t approve of is done by your husband, always take the time to correct it. It might not be immediately but get it done eventually, out of love and respect. You don’t have to act like everything is alright all the time. Believe it or not, your body often gives away your feelings and it could give subtle clues that tip off problems. Don’t always fake smiles and rigid movements, rather, just let loose and tell your partner exactly how you feel.
Not fighting at all
This might sound awkward but not fighting at all is totally unhealthy for your marriage. No two people can agree on everything all the time, which makes disagreements and misunderstanding totally allowed. If all you and you partner do is agree and smile all the time, then your marriage is definitely on a slow death row. Because when you don’t even bother to bring up something that bugs you, it means you’ve stopped putting energy into the relationship and could very well be checking out emotionally. This doesn’t mean you should always pick up a fight to show your partner just how much you care… But if there is a need for disagreement, it’s better to bring up the issue and iron it out as soon as possible.