The great thing about compromise is that it goes beyond expectations, which can be extremely helpful to your marriage. However, sometimes we want to ask our husband to meet certain expectations that are unhealthy to your marriage and hurtful to the man in your life.
Here are 10 things that you should never ask of your husband, because not only are they usually unrealistic, but they come with expectation that in reality he can’t live up to.
1. To never notice another woman
Now don’t take this the wrong way, because I am not saying that you should constantly let your husband ogle other woman and be totally ok with it.
What I am saying is that men are genetically programmed to notice women in general, particularly ones they think have attractive traits.
Don’t expect your husband to never notice a pretty woman ever again, because he will whether or not you tell him to.
Trust your husband and know that just like you can notice a handsome man, it doesn’t mean you are tempted to go and run off with them.
2. To give up any of his professional or personal passions
Your husband is always supportive of your dreams and passions, and you should be the same way in regard his goals and interests.
Sometimes his professional and personal aspirations may take time and money to achieve; don’t be the one to constantly tell him he can’t or shouldn’t want to achieve them.
Be his partner, lover, and friend. Push him to do all the things he wants to do and help him understand that you will always have his back.
3. To change or be different
There are many qualities and traits that you love about your husband. Some of those personality quirks drew you to him in the first place.
But there are times when these traits come with opposing ones that you might not be a fan of; if he is very optimistic and carefree, that means he can forget important things like appointments and picking up the dry-cleaning.
Be patient and loving when it comes to these things, and remember you have qualities that he both loves and some that he isn’t really a fan of.
Your husband is who he is and you are who you are and neither one of you should expect the other to change, because it is an expectation you both can never meet.
4. To have the same interests as you
I don’t know about you, but for as many similar interest that I have with my husband I also have some VERY different ones.
I would never expect my husband to like every single one of these vastly different interests because that is unrealistic and completely unfair.
Enjoy the similar interests you have but also enjoy the different ones, because they keep him and you happy. Plus, having different interests keeps things interesting between you both.
5. To listen to you like a gal pal would
Your husband wants to listen to you and the problems you are facing because he cares about you.
However, there are certain things that he will be willing to listen to but might not fully be able to solve in the same way that your best friend, sister, or mom could.
To expect that your man can listen in the same way a female friend or relative does is unrealistic. No matter how he tries, it will only frustrate you and him more.
Cut him some slack and know that it is good for both of you to have others in your life you can vent to.
6. To not want to hang out with his friends
It is normal, especially in your first couple years of marriage, to want to spend all your time with your husband and to have him want the same thing.
The reality is, however, in a healthy relationship it is important to have other people to spend time with.
Let your husband have male-bonding time with his buddies, and don’t resent or nag him for wanting to do it.
7. To make him choose between his mother and you
Now, in this type of scenario there is an obvious choice; you.
However don’t ever put your husband in a situation where he would literally have to choose a side. Doing just that is unbelievable unfair and juvenile.
She is his mother, and that position deserves some respect. If there are times when you have differentiating opinion from your mother-in-law, talk to him in private and make sure he doesn’t ever have to feel like he has to choose.
Compromise is an essential part of any marriage, but don’t think you can expect too much from these compromises. Being realistic about what you can ask of your husband will make sure you don’t jeopardize your relationship.