After Pastor Adeboye said emphatically that Naija boys should not marry girls who can neither cook nor pray, all the guys I know turned that into their daily mantra.
For sure the women folk pounced on them saying “we aren’t your cooks/maids blah blah blah.
My thoughts however differ, I think we all have to know and accept fully what we are getting into before marriage.
You need to know your partner’s desires/expectations and capabilities before making it official; after all, you can’t plant mangoes and expect to reap oranges.
For the men, you are not allowed to desire a career woman to the point of marrying her and then expect her to make breakfast, pack lunch and hustle fresh food for dinner.
If after marriage you begin to whine and complain of such then you are plain deceitful. From the onset you knew she was goal-oriented and you should be fine with Chinese or buying food from a reputable food vendor.
I am not saying that’s a suitable kind of life which is why I advised you know and accept your spouse before tying the knot.
Eventually, your nagging might get to her and she drops or cuts down on her job (which of course is her passion) but remember you are taking a part of that woman away and the marriage would still be lacking.
If as a lady you are in a relationship with a foodie who tells you that he prefers setting you up so you have all the time in the world to make him home cooked meals and you go on to marry him, please and please, do not complain if he asks you to pound yam three times a week.
You heard him praise women who dote on their husbands all the while you were dating and you suddenly want him to accept you are not his cook after you got the ring. My sister, that’s just shallow.
In a relationship a man/woman’s expectations are always perceived no matter how faint; and if you discover your partner likes something you can’t offer, talk it out and agree or just pull out.
Too many marriages are having unnecessary chaos over what she can/can’t do. The reason being a lot of spouses feel lied to and deceived into believing what is not.
For example I can’t cook, I decide to lie I can, and tell him I am just tired tonight. So I offer we have takeout then when I’m married I make scrambled eggs that look like watery ‘egusi’ for weeks on end.
My spouse of course would vex, he might be patient to teach me or I am smart enough to hire a maid and learn from her but things would have been easier if I just opened up initially.
Guys, too, you know the babe never takes her manicure off, never offers to even brew you a cup of coffee and then you expect her to perform ‘American wonder’ in the kitchen after your Milan wedding.
Always open your eyes even when in love and see who or what you are getting into. Some women are “wonder women” who can combine both house chores and career well.
I know guys too who don’t mind making noodles themselves or having pizza every night. It’s preference and we should all know how to deal with one another’s needs.
In all always love with your eyes open, always always.