Tee Billz A Snapshot Of The Nigerian Man
Tunji ‘Tee Billz’ Balogun has to be the most hated man in Nigeria right now.
After Tiwa Savage’s explosive interview on Friday, April 29, 2016 where she made several accusations against her husband, Tee Billz became Nigeria’s number one bad guy.
The lynching on social media was brutal. Memes came out at frightening speed and before you could say ‘If I Start To Talk’ the words ‘edible catering’ started trending on Twitter. Oh Tee Billz had it bad and he is still having it bad.
If he comes out of this one he would need the best PR team money can buy, a little bit of luck and God on his side. Does Tee Billz deserve the bashing he is getting now? Yes he does at least for some of Tiwa Savage’s accusations. We will need to hear from him obviously to know more.
The borderline verdict is that Tee Billz deserves what he is going through right now which is 100% correct. Somehow Tee Billz’s bashing has spilled into something bigger and that is the bashing of Nigerian men.
The narrative of the Tiwa Savage interview went from ‘Tee Billz is a bad man’ to ‘Nigerian men are evil’. Predictably, I expected it to go so. Yes the femi-nazis (not to be mistaken feminists who actually work for the betterment of the not only the girl child, women but the society also) have ran with this narrative to continue their bashing of Nigerian men.
The question here is- are Tee Billz’s sins or shortcomings a reflection of Nigerian men? My answer is no. Dear femi-nazis (a group of women who hide under the umbrella of feminism to further their selfish agenda) you can roll your eyes all you want but here is my reason.
Tee Billz is not the snapshot of Nigerian men but of the Nigerian society. The society we live in is ruled by customs, religion and traditional gender roles.
Tiwa Savage’s marriage was deeply affected by the fact that Tee Billz no longer had money which made him feel less manly. This is the Nigerian society for you. We stress so much about money that people who haven’t been blessed so financially feel like they are invalids.
Let’s bring finance and wealth into the relationships and marriages. From early on in life it is implanted in us that the man is the provider, he is the breadwinner. It is because of this one way of thinking that when a man doesn’t have money to give his family he feels he is useless and begins to lash out. I am not saying it is the right thing to do, I am just stating the reason here.
This line of thinking is wrong. Anyone can be the breadwinner in a home. Unfortunately the Nigerian society doesn’t believe so. The man must do this or he is useless, this is what the Nigerian society believes in.
Therefore with this backward system of belief, the Nigerian society has created men who believe that if they don’t have money they are useless and powerless. It has also created women who believe in this also.
There are so many Nigerian women (femi-nazis included) who believe a man must provide for them. Dating in Nigeria is more or less about transactional relationships- “you give me money and I give you my attention and body.” This is the order of the day in this country.
Not too long ago I was in a bus and I overheard a lady talking to her friend. She said “my boyfriend hasn’t given me money for my hair. He must give me or we will fight.” I gasped. This was a lady going to work which means she has a salary, asking her boyfriend money for her hair.
If as a woman you believe a man or husband must always provide you with money, sorry dear you belong in the Flintstones era. If you believe that a man must always pay for dates, you are part of the problem. If as a married woman you believe that your husband must always be the one to queue for fuel, you are part of the problem.
Men, women, we are part of the problem. Tee Billz is not a snapshot of Nigerian men. There are millions of good Nigerian men out there, just as there are women who don’t believe in transactional relationships.
The narrative henceforth should not be “Nigerian men this or Nigerian men that” but “how can we make our society better.” Until egotistical men and femi-nazis help to bring this new narrative into fruition we will still be stuck in the dark ages.