Things Guys Say And What They Really Mean

1. “I’ll call you.”
Translation: “I’m not going to call you. Well, I might. Probably not, though.”

2. “I don’t care.”
Translation: “You have presented me with an option that, while clearly very important to you, is not a big deal to me at all. Since we’re probably going to end up doing what you want to do anyway, let’s just skip the conversation and go straight to that. If I actually do care about a choice you give me, I swear I will tell you. This is not a test and I’m not trying to be difficult. I truly don’t care. So, for the love of God, just tell me where we’re going to eat tonight.”

3. “She’s just a friend.”
Translation: “I’m flattered by your jealousy and I swear I’ve never had sex with her. If I had, we probably wouldn’t still be friends.”

4. “It’s my fault; I’m sorry.”
Translation: “We’ve been arguing about this for hours and I just can’t take it anymore. Congratulations, you wore me down. Can we have sex now?”

5. “Can we talk about this later?”
Translation: “Could you pretty, pretty please with sugar on top… shut the fuck up?”

6. “My ex was kind of crazy.”
Translation: “This is going well and I’m very attracted to you, but please, please, please, if you’re crazy, reveal it as soon as possible. I’ll probably slit my wrists if I have to go through that again.”

7. “I was kidding.”
Translation: “Oh, shit, I was using humor to express something I believed to be profoundly true, and you saw right through it. This is me backpedaling.”

8. “I never masturbate.”
Translation: “I’ve cut down to three times a day.”

9. “Strip clubs are gross.”
Translation: “Of course they’re gross, but I still go to them in a pinch. You see, I love naked women, but I like women who might actually have sex with me much, much more.”

10. “I never watch porn.”
Translation: “I watch a ton of porn, but my last girlfriend found my Internet search history this one time and made me feel kinda like a freak about it, so this is just a flat-out lie. Sorry about that.”

source: Erillins World


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