11 Views

General Tips On How To Communicate During A Conflict- Must Read

Have you ever been so angry at someone you said something you instantly regretted? There are more constructive ways to communicate during a conflict that can effectively turn the situation around. Keep some of these tips in mind next time you’re facing a disagreement.

How does conflict start?

Everyone has a need to feel understood, supported and safe. Conflict often arises when people perceive a threat to having these needs met. A natural response is to get angry at the person you feel is somehow threatening you.

For example, your partner could give you a gift you didn’t want. You might get angry because you feel they don’t understand you. But in fact they gave you the gift to show their affection and are hurt that you don’t like it.

A situation like this doesn’t have to become a heated argument. When people can communicate honestly and openly, a conflict can usually be settled with a positive outcome for everyone involved.

Proactive Steps to Resolve Conflict

1. Time it Right – If you have a past dispute that still needs to be resolved, make sure to find an appropriate time to bring it up. Choosing the right moment could mean the difference between a helpful discussion or a nasty blow-up. Avoid approaching the person if they’re obviously busy or have somewhere to go. You could ask them to schedule a time to talk about it with you. It’s best to meet in person, but if you need to phone someone, always start out by asking if it’s a good time to talk.

2. Speak to the Source – You might find it easy to tell friends and family members all about someone you have an issue with. But it can be more difficult to speak to the person themselves. You don’t know how they’ll react and it could be scary making the first move. But ignoring a serious issue could be even worse in the long run. If you’re hesitant to face them alone, you can suggest a counselor or trusted friend join your discussion with them to help bridge the gap.

3. Stay on Topic – No matter how heated a discussion may get, always stay focused on the issue you want to resolve. Whenever you mention any facts about the situation, keep them objective and only refer to what really happened. Resist any temptation to bring up historical patterns you feel someone has, or what they said to you ten years ago. Clearly, this would not help the situation.

4. Really Listen – It can be easy to get lost in your own point of view and become blind to any other input. Take a step back and focus on the other person for a moment. Ask them why they’re upset or how they’re feeling. Then take the time to listen to what they have to say. Don’t interrupt while they’re speaking and ask for clarification afterwards if you didn’t understand anything they said. This lets them know you care and are truly listening.

5. Take Responsibility for Yourself – No one is innocent in a conflict. Own up to your part of what happened. Also remain aware of your own feelings and reactions. Are you upset about what someone said because it stirred up some painful memories completely unrelated to the situation? This is not the other person’s fault. That might be a good time to take a break from the discussion and sort out your own feelings before you react unfairly.

6. Start Your Sentences with “I” – It’s always helpful to express your thoughts and feelings about what’s going on. For instance, “I was hurt when you said I’m lazy because I value your opinion of me.” But keep it about yourself. Don’t cross the line and start pointing fingers or blaming others for what happened. Also, make sure you’re expressing your true emotions, not just saying you’re angry. Typically, anger comes from feeling hurt, scared or sad about a situation. Try digging a little deeper to find out what’s at the bottom of your anger.

7. Seek Understanding – Remember that the other person is also upset because their needs are being threatened. Ask them to clearly express what they really want or need. What did you do to cause their frustration? A common cause of misunderstanding is making assumptions about how the other person is feeling. Don’t ever assume. Keep asking questions until you really know what’s on their mind.

8. Use Humor When Appropriate – Sometimes the best way to defuse a confrontation is to lighten it up a bit. Obviously, this needs to be approached with sensitivity. Many times humor would only make matters worse. But if it’s a fairly small issue, you could ask the other person, “Doesn’t it seem silly we’re even arguing about this?” Or if you can tell the other person is open to it, you could try a playful shoulder punch or other goofy gesture. Just make sure the playfulness is mutual and there are no lingering bad feelings.

9. Look for Compromise – Try to find common ground with the person you’re in conflict with. Your goal should not be to “win” the argument. What resolution would be good for both of you? Stay focused on resolving the conflict in a positive way rather than being right. And remember it’s always an option to agree to disagree. Some arguments aren’t worth a prolonged effort and it can be fine to simply let go of what’s not important and move on with a fresh start.

 

Get the best viral stories straight into your inbox!

Don't worry, we don't spam

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Latest Posts

Dangerous Infections You Can Get When You Bite Your Nails
Food and Health
25 views
Food and Health
25 views

Dangerous Infections You Can Get When You Bite Your Nails

Mabel - September 22, 2017

Biting your nails might seem like a minor bad habit. The frequency of the habit might lead you to believe that it's no big deal. However, it…

The University Of Ibadan Fixes Resumption Date
General
23 views
General
23 views

The University Of Ibadan Fixes Resumption Date

Mabel - September 22, 2017

The management of the University of Ibadan (UI) Chapter returns back to classrooms, the school authority has notified the students that the second semester lectures of the…

2017 WAFU Cup: Super Eagles Defeat Benin To Set Up A Final Game Against Ghana
Sports
26 views
Sports
26 views

2017 WAFU Cup: Super Eagles Defeat Benin To Set Up A Final Game Against Ghana

Mabel - September 22, 2017

The home based Super Eagles of Nigeria on Thursday advanced top the final of the 2017 WAFU  Cup of Nations defeating  Benin 1-0 in Cape Coast in the…

Checkout Photos Of Nigerian Writer, Chimamanda Adichie’s Husband
Romance and Love
27 views
Romance and Love
27 views

Checkout Photos Of Nigerian Writer, Chimamanda Adichie’s Husband

Mabel - September 22, 2017

Photos of popular Nigerian writer, Chimamanda Adichie and her husband Dr. Ivara Esege have been celebrated on social media. The husband of the award-winning Nigerian writer, Chimamanda…

Ooni Of Ife All Smiles In New Photos As He Attends Event In Abuja
General
22 views
General
22 views

Ooni Of Ife All Smiles In New Photos As He Attends Event In Abuja

Mabel - September 22, 2017

The Ooni of Ife, is definitely in a delightful mood as he was photoed recently following reports of his estrangement to Wuraola Zynab Otiti some weeks back.…

9 Health Benefits Of Sour-Sop Fruit
Food and Health
37 views
Food and Health
37 views

9 Health Benefits Of Sour-Sop Fruit

Mabel - September 22, 2017

Sour-sop is a wonder-working fruit found in the tropical regions of the world. Around the world, it is known with different names such as Graviola, Brazilianawpaw, custard…

How PDP Can Return To Power In 2019
Politics
28 views
Politics
28 views

How PDP Can Return To Power In 2019

PH - September 22, 2017

A former Minister of Education, Prof. Tunde Adeniran, has predicted that the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) would return to power in 2019. According to him, the party…

What Some Devils in APC are Doing to Frustrate President Buhari – Katsina Governor
Politics
34 views
Politics
34 views

What Some Devils in APC are Doing to Frustrate President Buhari – Katsina Governor

PH - September 22, 2017

The Governor of Katsina State, Aminu Bello Masari, has alleged that some “devils” have infiltrated the All Progressives Congress, APC, with the aim of “pitching the electorate…

What IPOB, Nnamdi Kanu Should Do About Proscription
Politics
24 views
Politics
24 views

What IPOB, Nnamdi Kanu Should Do About Proscription

PH - September 22, 2017

Vice President of the Nigerian Bar Association, NBA, Monday Ubani has called on the Indigenous People of Biafra, IPOB, to challenge its proscription in a competent court…

President Muhammadu Buhari Now In London
Politics
30 views
Politics
30 views

President Muhammadu Buhari Now In London

Mabel - September 22, 2017

Nigerian President who departed New York from the 72nd UN General Assembly for the United Kingdom has arrived safely, Femi Adesina, the Special Adviser on Media and Publicity…

What Oritsefemi’s Wife, Nabila Said About Her Mother-In-Law Is Thought-provoking
Entertainment
32 views
Entertainment
32 views

What Oritsefemi’s Wife, Nabila Said About Her Mother-In-Law Is Thought-provoking

MT - September 22, 2017

Nigerian singer Oritsefemi recently shared a photo of his mother and wife, Nabila, together, and their resemblance was is overwhelming. Nabila then reacted after re-sharing the photo via her…

Video: Watch Mayorkun Refuting Reports That His ‘Mama’ Song Was A Copy Of Davido’s ‘Fall’
Entertainment
25 views
Entertainment
25 views

Video: Watch Mayorkun Refuting Reports That His ‘Mama’ Song Was A Copy Of Davido’s ‘Fall’

MT - September 22, 2017

  DMW artiste Mayorkun has responded to claims that his hit song “Mama” was a copy of Davido’s hit song “Fall” with similar beats. According to him, people shouldn’t be fast to judge as they…

Actress Eniola Badmus Finally Forgives Davido’s Babymama: ‘Go And Sin No More…..’
Entertainment
31 views
Entertainment
31 views

Actress Eniola Badmus Finally Forgives Davido’s Babymama: ‘Go And Sin No More…..’

MT - September 22, 2017

  Eniola Badmus has finally forgiven Sophia Momodu, and this comes days after the mother of Davido’s daughter took to SnapChat to body-shame the actress. It all…

Peter Okoye Goes Solo? Read His Latest Tweet Here.
Entertainment
37 views
Entertainment
37 views

Peter Okoye Goes Solo? Read His Latest Tweet Here.

MT - September 22, 2017

  Amidst speculations that the PSquare twin brothers, Paul and Peter Okoye are fighting again, Peter has unveiled his solo Youtube channel. Peter Okoye announced on his…

Kemi Olunloyo Directly Shades Tonto Dike’s Estranged Husband Churchill – “You Can Hang Out With 2000 Women”
Entertainment
42 views
Entertainment
42 views

Kemi Olunloyo Directly Shades Tonto Dike’s Estranged Husband Churchill – “You Can Hang Out With 2000 Women”

MT - September 22, 2017

Miss Kemi Olunloyo in her pursuit for a no domestic violence society, addressed Tonto Dikeh’s ex husband Oladunni Churchill in a recent post on her IG. According…

Top 10 Nigerian Artistes That Have Lost Their Musical Touch, Do You Agree With The List?
Entertainment
32 views
Entertainment
32 views

Top 10 Nigerian Artistes That Have Lost Their Musical Touch, Do You Agree With The List?

MT - September 22, 2017

Undoubtedly the Nigerian music industry is west Africa’s biggest depot of young/old talented, creative, successful and wealthy musical artist that have taking the art of singing music…

Triple MG boss, Ubi Franklin Did The Unthinkable For One His Female Staff, Nicole.
Entertainment
25 views
Entertainment
25 views

Triple MG boss, Ubi Franklin Did The Unthinkable For One His Female Staff, Nicole.

MT - September 22, 2017

Triple MG boss, Ubi Franklin shared this Photos of his female staff, Nicole who was proposed to by a lady in his Abuja office. Her boyfriend sent…

See Why You Could Be Beaten Black And Blue In Ondo State If You Mention Or Defend Asiwaju Tinubu’s Name
Politics
48 views
Politics
48 views

See Why You Could Be Beaten Black And Blue In Ondo State If You Mention Or Defend Asiwaju Tinubu’s Name

MT - September 22, 2017

The mention or the defense of the name of the celebrated national leader of the APC, in the person of Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the Jagaban of…

Loading...