There are ways you can nurture your relationship even during the pregnancy days when your body and mind are going through various changes. You two can put some efforts in keeping the romance and the spark alive and be there for each other. Some of the ideas that can work to your advantage in such a situation are:
1. Modify Your Routines:
Rather than being hell bent on what you used to do together and fighting because it is not the same anymore now, try to be flexible and modify routines to suit the needs. Instead of going out for activities such as golfing or any other sports activity, which you loved to do, but now find it difficult to enjoy, you can do things such as going for a spa session together and opt for a couple of massages that are relaxing and romantic at the same time. Choose activities or things that you two enjoy doing together and will keep you two connected.
2. Have Some Conversation Time:
For any relationship to work perfectly, you need to communicate with your partner. During pregnancy, the concentration on aspects such as doctor’s appointment, food, supplements, care, and attention can leave you two with no time to sit and talk. Set aside some time for you two to share your thoughts, the happenings in your day, some light humor or anything that is of common interest to you both. It will have a positive effect on your relationship and help in individual growth too.
3. Be Focussed On Your Partner:
It often happens that the expecting mother ends up paying more attention to the baby growing inside than on her husband. Give time to your partner and honor the relationship that you share. In this way, he will not end up feeling insecure about his importance and also not assume that the baby will change your relationship with him.
4. Keep The Intimacy Alive:
Sex during pregnancy can be a tricky thing to figure out for most of the couples. In the first few months, you will be so concerned about morning sickness, exhaustion, and mood swings that sex will be the last thing on your mind. As the months advance and the bump shows prominently, finding the right positions to do it will make it hard for you two to carry out intercourse the way you did before. In such situations, you can talk it out with your partner on how things can work out the best for you both. Moments such as that unexpected barf or the farting or anything gross should be taken lightly, giving you two some excuses to laugh together and spark up the romance.
Ways In Which Pregnancy Can Change The Relationship Dynamics:
Pregnancy is not a one-day affair but a nine-month long commitment which will surely bring many changes in the relationship you share with your partner. Awareness of the possibilities of change will keep you prepared about how to tackle the change and work things out accordingly to keep the relationship going without any trouble in your haven. Some pointers that you can look for help are:
You will be more dependent on your partner for things which you could manage alone earlier. Situations such as doctor’s appointments, couple yoga sessions and counselling hours will make it necessary that you feel the need for your partner more during these few months. This might make you feel that your husband is not giving you your due.
He might feel left out and alone during these times as all your focus will be on the baby and its needs. The feelings of isolation, lack of intimacy and closeness are common complaints that the husbands make when you two are expecting a baby.
Lack of sex and intimacy can take a toll on your relationship. The infrequent sex sessions can leave a profound effect on the chemistry that you two share.
Common and Expected Couple Fights During Pregnancy:
Even if you shared a world of bliss with your partner, pregnancy could bring that chemistry, both physical and emotional, to a standstill. You may end up fighting everyday for no reason, taking a toll on your relationship. The miseries do not just end there.
The frequent mood swings, the lack of communication and the absence of the understanding for each other that you once shared can result in every day bickering and fights with your partner, making you doubt the very relationship. Here are a few reasons that might lead to a fight with your husband and some expert tips on how to deal with the situation and salvage your relationship:
1. Naming The Child:
The Problem: The decision of naming your baby can be very tricky, and it has the possibility of ending up in a heated debate. Your partner may not agree with your idea of naming the baby after your grandmother or giving him some rare and unique name, as your partner has already taken out the top ten lists of baby names, and you two end up having a huge argument about it.
The Solution: You do not have to push him or make him change his decision immediately. In this way, you both will end up being defensive. Take some time out, sit together later and talk about the issue. You can share your experience and the attachment that you have for the names that you have selected individually and then see how he reacts. The discussion can give you both a deeper understanding of each other’s point of view and help in taking a joint decision.
2. Lack Of Attention:
The Problem: During pregnancy, you can become vulnerable and completely insecure about your partner. At times, you may feel he is not giving you the attention you deserve or the care that is required. Trifle issues such as missing appointments with your OB by him can create turmoil between you two for no reason at all.
The Solution: Rather than burdening your partner all the time for keeping up with your appointment, you can make some friends who are also pregnant and discuss all your pregnancy-related issues such as swollen feet, morning sickness, etc., with them. You can go along with them also for your medical appointments and routine checkups rather than piling everything on your partner. It becomes easy for both of you to share some good time together if there is no task or responsibility that you two have to accomplish every two days.
The Problem: In his mind, all he can think is how gorgeous you have turned with your newly acquired curves and the pregnancy glow. It is quite obvious he will try to be cosier with you at times. But during this period of gestation, all you can think of is the leaking of your pee or some other pregnancy related problem and your partner might not be sympathetic towards your condition. The result is that you end up having huge fights again.
The Solution: Having some sense of humour about the situation can work towards your advantage at this time. Laughing about the silly or gross things, joking about the trifle issues can lighten the situation up and you two can share some sweet and cosy moments together. Communication is the key to resolving the issue. Talk to your partner about your insecurities and fears about sex.
4. Money Matters:
The Problem: The prospect of a baby increases the expenses to a great extent. The sudden change in the expenditure can shock you both, making it difficult to manage finances and take monetary decisions. These uncertainties and lack of proper financial management can lead to stress and fights among couples when they are expecting a baby.
The Solution: You two can sit down together to plan a budget and try in all ways to stick to it even when faced with temptations. Do not wait for the baby to arrive to sort out the financial issues but do it right away. Figure out all the possible expenses and make a budget plan that is practical, can be followed and not too stringent. Keep some stash ready for emergency requirements too and for unforeseen or unaccounted for but necessary expenditures.
5. Interference From Family:
The Problem: You may have a great rapport with your in-laws and the extended family after marriage but pregnancy could change the equation. It could be the same for your husband if your parents are interfering too much in your affairs.
The Solution: It is essential to understand that you and your partner are going to be the parents so the decisions need to be taken by you two. Support from your families is necessary and you can always welcome their advice, as long as they are not hurting your psyche or the relationship with your husband. There is no reason for you to be rude to them. Talk to your partner if you think the interference has gone too far to tolerate.
Fighting And Arguing With Your Spouse Harms The Baby:
Arguments with your partner during pregnancy are quite common among couples. The change in the hormone levels and the added pressures of pregnancy can make you a bit edgy and result in silly fights and confrontations. But if the fights are too severe and frequent, then it may indicate an underlying problem of depression or anxiety disorder in the mother. The added stress caused by the conflicts can put both the mother and the baby under difficult situations.
Depression or anxiety caused by stress for extended periods of time can affect the gestation period and may lead to pre-term labor in several cases. The sudden mood swings and constant irritation can also hamper the absorption of nutrients in the body of the mother and the baby leading, to further complications and poor health of the baby.
Excessive stress levels can also result in high blood pressure, hormonal imbalance in the body and miscarriage. Elevated levels of anxiety lead to events of postpartum depression which is detrimental to the health of the mother and the well-being of the child at the same time.
source: Mom Conjunction