There are numerous misconceptions about Nigerian relationships, from the men thinking all women are ‘nags’ and after ‘money’ to the women believing that all guys are cheats, liars… the list goes on and on.
The truth is none of these misconceptions listed is 100% true, this is because it depends on who YOU are dealing with.
Listed below are six key ingredients of a happy Nigerian realationship.
Communication is most important key to a healthy relationship.
When issues arise between you and your partner, do not patch it, make excuses for it or sleep over it; instead ‘discuss it’. That you talk and have discussions with your significant other doesn’t mean you are communicating.
And no… Don’t focus only on what they are saying, but also on what they are not saying. Sometimes the nonverbal signs tell you more than the verbal signs.
Remember love brings two people with different ideologies, background, interests, and maybe religion together; mark the word TOGETHER, it is no longer about ‘you’ alone or ‘me’ alone… it is about the both of you.
When a tough decision that involves the both of you arises, wear your grown up pants and meet each-other in the middle.
Pay 100% attention
If you are in a serious/long term relationship, you would probably understand the urge to be taken seriously.
People love to know that they are being heard and understood. When in a relationship every detail is important, every complaint is ‘double’ important, especially when your significant other is particular about it.
Note: There is a thin line between being attentive and being obsessive, know your partner well.
Expect down times
The average Nigerian mentality is to stay positive and not realistic in trying times.
Expect that there would be down times in your relationship and build skills that would help you manage these difficulties. This is not the same as being paranoid or negative, its similar to studying for an exam that has no fixed date yet.
Never compare your relationship with another
Never ever do this! “Look at Tade, he got this for his Sade or look at Nkem she cooks daily for her boyfriend” This statement is all shades of wrong. Comparisons in relationships have a way of making people feel less of themselves, incompetent and stupid; it leads to gradual withdrawal.
When your significant other is not doing what you want or making you happy talk about it instead of nagging them about it.
Firstly there is nothing like a white lie, it is just a word coined to avoid hurting people’s feelings, but guess what… When the person finds out he/she is still hurt. Telling a white lie doesn’t save the day, it postpones the ‘truth‘ day.
When in a relationship you need to be 100% truthful even when it hurts, let your yes be ‘yes’ and your no be ‘no’