These days, getting into a relationship without understanding the other person is dangerous. For a woman that is under pressure from family and friends, it could be hard taking time to understand the man as the pressure mounts on her. Since the women are often the most vulnerable in relationships and are often susceptible to all forms of unprepared eventualities, a few tips on how to minimize that is important.
Here are five questions you should ask before saying yes to any man no matter how charming he is;
1. His Short Term Goals
Before going into any relationship with any man, be sure he is goal-driven. Ask for what he wants to achieve in the next three to five years. His answer should be promising. For example, if he replies he wants to register for a management course online so he could start as a junior Human Resource Executive and progress onward, he has sense. But if he replies that everything depends on God or that he has no clue, flee with all your might. He isn’t good for you. Love alone is not enough at that point.
2. His Long Term Goals
This includes what he wants to achieve in ten to fifteen years from now. There should be a plan to have a strong family in the list of things he wants to achieve as well as what position he wants to be in life. He should be clear on what he wants from life and career. Flee from such man that is not definite about his goals in life and how he wants to pursue them. As I said, love is not enough. A man that doesn’t understand himself enough to know what he wants from life isn’t the type you should date let alone plan to marry.
3. His Relationship With His Mother
A man that doesn’t have a good relationship and has difficulty coping with his mother would most likely have difficulty in understanding and coping with you. His mother is the first woman in his life. She is his first love. If she has a strained relationship with her, he should work on settling it before you say yes to him. Mothers are important. If he doesn’t want his mother around, he would most likely have a problem having you around. You are a woman too. Encourage him to settle things with his mother before getting on board with him.
4. What Attracts You to Him
Do not be content with him if he says nothing in you attracts him the first time he sees you. People don’t like each other for no reason. You should ask him what gets him attracted to you that was so strong that he didn’t stop at the place of admiration but instead proceeds to ask you out. It could be your personality that attracts him. It could be your looks. It could be your smile. It could be the colour of your hair. It could be your physique. It could be he sees a replica of his mother in you. Ask him what he finds most attractive about you so you could keep it in order for you not to forsake it and then he would find you less attractive. He should be specific about his area of attention and attraction in you. If you don’t know what motivates him to want you for a relationship, it is not ideal.
5. Know His Love Language
According to relationship experts, there are five love languages. These are words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, and physical touch. Before getting into a relationship, you must understand what love language works for you. So also must the man understand what his love language is. This will avoid friction later on if perhaps he loves physical touch or enjoys spending time with you but you are busy showering him with gifts or echoing words of affirmation. If he doesn’t understand his love language yet, don’t jump on board with him.
Written by Segun Ogunlade, an Online Editor at HowNg.
