As campus re-opens, so is the heart re-opening for love. Universities are hotbeds for all kinds of relationships, from everlasting true love through to awkward one-night stands.
Relationships at universities are important; they make you grow up a lot quicker than any amount of separating whites from colours will do. However, there are some kinds of relationships that you should steer clear of, because they tend to make you forget why you ever went to uni in the first place.
Being single on campus exposes you to all kind of ladies and you are more likely to make a mistake in choosing the right spouse at this stage. Just like Kissing many frogs before finally finding a prince or princess, They come in different shapes, sizes and character. Some looking like a potential future wife, but WAIT!!! just before you ask her to be your girlfriend, be sure she doesn’t fall into any of the following categories;
1. The lady in a clique
This girl is always in the company of a large number of girlfriends. They do everything together. She may be beautiful but she probably has low self esteem and she has to walk with her not so beautiful friends just to feel the stare of hypnotized men upon her. Being with her means you have to be besties with her friends, hang out at their favorite spots, and embrace their joints among others. You can as well kiss your relationship privacy goodbye.
She is sometimes likely to forget you are a guy who might probably need some time alone with her away from the scrutiny of her other single friends.
There’s also the probability that she has a cuter friend and a guy can always be tempted (easily) by friends of girlfriend, if you know what i mean.
Also Her decisions in most cases are made for her by the group and she’s always trying to compare you with her friend’s boyfriend’s fake qualities. Her friends may seem happy to see you but in the real sense they just remembered how ‘wale’ refused to rise to the occasion.
2. The Party Girl
Many funaab girls are absolutely guilty of this: you throw back one too many shots of magic moment and find yourself stumbling back to your hostel (heels in hand) the next morning. Yes, this happens to almost everyone at one point or another when we go a little bit overboard on a Friday night, but don’t make a habit out of it.
When guys meet the Party Girl, they think she is the life of the party. She’s carefree, maybe even a little wild, and from the outside looks like a person they may be interested in. But things can change quickly in the sobering light of day. Her hilarious antics, sociable personality and killer dance moves are great after 5 p.m., but no one wants to date a girl he needs to be drunk to hang out with.
3. The Campus diva
The campus diva doesn’t care whether you like her or not, as long as she make headlines of funaabgist (she doesnt care what news makes the headlines either). She is young and beautiful, and she knows it. Salute her if you cross paths- what else can you do when you meet a girl whose make up remains intact throughout a day?
She likes the much older filthy rich man, preferably of an exotic race. She loves to smile all the way to the bank, and the rich, old man makes that happen. She is therefore willing to pay the price, be it sex, a few shady deals or whatever else.
She therefore stays in high-end apartments and owns flashy cars and gadgets. A little advice for her though- save what you get from your ‘sugar great grand daddy’ because he can get out of the picture at any moment, especially through death.
The campus diva is not ashamed of what she does to make money and support a cozy lifestyle. however, you may come across the other type but rare campus divas whose body is a prized possession but who cannot help toying with love-sick old men, funaab big boys and lecturers just for fun. Be on the lookout because you will most likely be the love-sick puppy that she will enjoy keeping wrapped around her little finger.
The campus diva unfortunately ‘rolls this way’ in her academic work as well, hence the phrase ‘Sexually Transmitted Grades (STG)’
4. The lady in distress
This is the kind of girl who thinks you are everything from a plumber, an electrician, a psychologist, a lecturer, a banker, a cook, a dry cleaner, a therapist, a masseur, to a tailor etc. You may think that you are just being the good jack of all trades but probably she sees you as the jerk of all traits. She expects you to drop everything you doing with a snap of the ‘queen’s fingers’.
The problem with being too available to this type of girl is that she is likely to take you for granted. She’ll probably call you the first day every semester to help her carry her luggage from gate to rochester, or in the middle of the day to buy orombos and deliver it to her doorstep or to pick her from a night out and take her to her bed.
Don’t expect to score my friend. Before you know it you’ll be the relationship expert she turns to ask what you think about guy A, or what to do to get bunmi to pay attention……. Congratulations bro, you are friend-zoned!
5. The Arrogant Girl
Every guy likes a smart and savvy funaabite, because they are very hard to come by. Who wouldn’t anyway? She can voice her opinion, carry a conversation, and impress your circle of friends. A girl with confidence can be as sexy as anything. But no one likes to date a know-it-all… and that’s where The Arrogant Girl comes in.
For the Arrogant Girl, it’s all about her. She’s right about most things (if not everything), puts down those who disagree with her, and in conversation, she uses the word “I” about a million times without even taking a breath. hisses Selfish AF
6. The funaab radio/olofofo
This is the girl who has an opinion on everything and anything and she’s always more than willing to blurt to the whole world what she thinks. She doesn’t know when to listen or when just to keep her mouth shut. She’s the kind of a girl who is likely to shout penalty while watching a football match yet the fowl is at the center of the pitch.
Needless to say since she’s shameless you’ll probably be the one bearing the brunt of a heavy head. This is the kind of girl who will tell you about how many people want her. You don’t know whether she actually expects you to go to those guys and tell them to stop wanting. It’s almost certain she’s telling the other guys about how much you want her too, she knows who is dating who (or who is just wooing who), knows how many underwear every of her colleague has, knows who went to do runs in sambisa forest amongst other things that are known to only her, only God knows where they get their info from, and am sure the devil is wondering the same thing too.
You probably know everything about her friends including the ones you haven’t even met yet and the name, matric number, account number, date of birth etc of all her ex- and next- boyfriends and such intimate details only the priest should hear about. Who knows the whole campus would soon know you moan while in the business, or you are a 1 minute man. My advice, tell her ebola is common in your family.
7. The overly ambitious girl
She is a rare breed. She knows what she wants, goes right after it and will stop at nothing to get it. She takes no short-cuts. She works hard to pass her exams, participates in extra curricular activities and loves her boyfriend dearly.
She is the type of girl to vie for an SUG post, whether with or without the support of the masses. She is the type of girl your mother would tell you to hang around, but I say hang around only as long as you meet her mark.
She has tried out all sorts of businesses from clothes and jewelry sales, to make up artistry, and even singing. She may be overly controlling and will highly likely drop you like hot akara if your success falls short of her expectations, but not that her pros outweigh her cons, so you decide whats best for you.